


He Wondered

by whatthefuckisasweep



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Canon Compliant, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, Internal Monologue, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatthefuckisasweep/pseuds/whatthefuckisasweep
Summary: Edward Deegan has been in love with Jack Cabot for many years, but he still doesn't know it.
Relationships: Jack Cabot/Edward Deegan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	He Wondered

Once you work for someone long enough you begin to… well... memorize things about them. See things that no one else sees. Their mannerisms, their little ticks, their voice inflictions when they happen to be lying, and, if you’re real observant, you might even end up reading their mind every once in a while. Fill in the blanks of sentences, do orders before they’re even given. Some people might think it’s magic or some kind of obscure act for publicity. But, as Edward Deegan knows, it’s just a matter of loyalty. 

Edward’s been working for Jack Cabot, owner of the infamous (and creatively named) Cabot House, for over 200 years. He knows the pure and raw definition of  **_loyal_ ** through and through, like the back of his raisin-ified hand. Hell, he’s taken multiple bullets (some to his shoulder, a few in his leg, and multiple in his abdomen; he has the scars to prove it), punches, and scathing insults, all for the sake of protecting and caring for the Cabot’s and their property. 

(The property, a mansion smack dab in the middle of a well off neighborhood, housed the local alien obsessed ‘scientist’ Jack “Crazy” Cabot, his mom, and his sister Emogene. With such a name, many people tried to break in and gain some wealth for themselves. So, in 2087, the family sought out a Guard. Someone who could tolerate  _ eccentrics _ and work for a cause. Ultimately, there was no better choice for the job than Mr. Edward Deegan.)

He started off at the mansion for a good pay - the Cabot’s were some of the richest people in the Eastern USA - and he wasn’t disappointed. The job paid immensely well, and, besides, it fit his abilities to a perfect T. Edward was a well-built man, obviously able to handle his own in a fight; his scraggly dark hair, tall frame, and sharp jawline looked like they simply made to intimidate. Additionally, he’d been trained to work with weaponry since childhood, and wasn’t a stranger to most forms of martial arts. All these qualities combined made Edward a fine bachelor - a tall, dark, and silent type, indeed - yet he was known to be a bit of a loner. Sure, he’d had a few girlfriends here and there, but none of them stuck, and he was getting a little disinterested in romance by the time he dedicated himself to the Cabots. He needed money more than someone at his side. But most importantly, he was restless. He was so goddamn restless. He needed a  _ cause _ , a dedication, something to beat the shit out of. Something to keep his mind sharp, his pulse quick. And he found that sort of odd comfort right in the Cabot family mansion, right smack dab in the middle of a nice neighborhood, tending to Crazy Jack Cabot and his sickly mother. 

Edward two-timed as a sort of butler for the family as well, since he was probably the only man Jack trusted enough to keep up the house and not try to steal his fortune. He took care of the dishes, found Emogene when she ran off with random men at various bars, and often helped Jack late at night with his plethora of scientific research. And when you do that type of thing for years and years on end, you can’t help but feel the family growing on you. No, you can’t help it at all, can you? Slowly but surely, the Cabot House became his house. He felt, strangely, more at home than he’d ever felt in his entire life, talking about aliens and laughing when Emogene flipped everyone off at the dinner table. Even after the bombs dropped, nothing really changed except the fact that Edward nearly died from the hell storm of rads that cooked him. Luckily, due to Jack’s extensive care at a hospital, he was able to survive the ordeal, even though he had to go ghoul. 

But there was, after all these years of taking bullets and hanging up sweaty hats and cleaning laundry, an untold secret in between all the lines of Edward’s calm and collected outer shell. Something he’d been keeping from the Cabots, and especially himself. 

The… Thoughts. Certainly, they were nothing more than that: mere glimpses of his ridiculous mind going crazy with the rest of the Cabots. 

(Okay, they weren’t crazy -  _ he knew about Lorenzo -  _ but…) 

What else was there to blame? Who was put up to making his heart skip beats when Jack did a little victory dance after a long night of hard work? What was making him want to hold the man’s hand at the dinner table? What was pushing him to smell Jack’s clothes whenever he did the laundry? And, first and foremost, who, in their right goddamn mind, was making Jack so oblivious to his advances? 

“Jack.”

“Yes, Edward?” The man looked tired, the bags under his eyes exaggerated from the loss of sleep recently. 

“You should sleep. It’s been 4 days.”

“3 days and 19 hours,” He corrected.

“I rounded up. Either way, this isn’t good for your health. Or anyone else’s. Emogene complains about the noise.”

“I’m so close to the end, Edward! I just need a few more hours.”

“A few more hours? That’s what you said three hours ago.”

“Well I mean it this time, I swear.”

“You said that last tim-”

“I know, but believe me!”

Edward let out a sigh, sitting down in a nearby chair. He’d be here until Jack passed out of exhaustion. He couldn’t force him to go to bed. 

“Fine…”

“Thank you. Now, I’m going to need some help with this liquid. Hold it while I adjust some things, will you?”

Nodding, Edward took the vile handed to him, forcing himself to ignore the way his mind took to recognizing the way Jack’s fingers brushed against his.

“Hey, uh, Jack?” He started unsurely, looking at the fancy science equipment to his left.

“Yes, Edward?” 

“What exactly are you working on again? I forgot.”

“An alien object tracker.”

“Ah. Should’ve known.”

Ever since the artifact was discovered, Jack had been obsessed with aliens and life before human beings existed. A “precursor” to human-life, he called it. Edward didn’t complain; he knew what the artifact was and what it did and its unknown origins. It’s what helped keep Jack healthy and alive for the past 400 years, gave him something to think about and live for too, and that was something he couldn't help but feel grateful for. Somehow, this little obsession, the way Jack talked about it like it was his world, it grew on Edward. Sure, it was weird. But, in its own slightly endearing way, it made the world full of Gunners, raiders, and scavengers that was the Commonwealth a little more brighter. Everytime Jack smiled at a finding, discovered something new, or even talked about his work passionately, it gave him some type of feeling that he was sure no one could manage to fake. He tried to hide his smile. Jack hummed as he worked. A 400 year old tune Edward knew by heart.

“You tired yet, Jack?”

“Not yet,” Jack replied slowly, although Edward could tell he was lying. The twitch in his hands, his slumping posture, and the drooping eyes gave it away. Edward would know the little tired slur in his voice anywhere. Ten minutes tops. He held onto the mysterious liquid patiently.

“Alright.”

Eight-minutes-and-forty-three seconds later, Jack Cabot was out like a light. His work slowed, his eyes sealed shut, and, in a weirdly adorable manner, he ended up slumped across his desk, hair messied, snoring like a sentry bot in combat mode. Edward smiled at the common sight, picking Jack up carefully, making sure to leave his science equipment exactly how it was. The blue liquid was left on the desk. He transported him up the stairs and into his bedroom and into his bed, which had been so carefully tidied during his cleaning hours. After tucking Jack in and making sure he was in a comfortable position, he made his way back to the door. Time to shut off the lights and leave.

Except he didn’t.

Edward didn’t budge. His gaze lingered on Jack’s peaceful resting face. His youthful features, smooth skin, dark hair, small frame - the way his eyebrows knitted together slightly. Everything. It was something he had seen for the past few hundred years, yet never got tired of seeing. Something about Jack just made his pulse quicken and set a smile on its way. Something about him. Something. 

_ Edward? Thank God, it worked! _

After all. Jack did save his life. Maybe it was that. And this was just the after effects. Yeah. 

_ Jack… Where the- where am I? _

_ Hospital. The radiation hit you the worst. I’m afraid I couldn’t reverse the effects of ghoulification, but all that matters is that you’re alive.  _

Edward remembered looking down at his arms in horror, his skin being a sickly shade and rough as sandpaper. Like he’d been covered in burn marks. Like he was a monster.

_ Edward? … Edward? _

_ … I’m… Hideous.  _

_ That doesn’t matter, what matters is that you're okay!  _

Edward paused his memory right there. His heart felt weird. Maybe he’d been sleeping too late. Giving Jack a quick kiss on the forehead, he turned around to make his leave. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like if his lips accidentally landed on top of Jack’s instead.

He wondered. 

It would feel good, wouldn't it?

It would feel good because it’s all he can think about, it would feel good because he hasn’t had any real physical affection in hundreds of years, it would feel good because it’d be some way to repay Jack, it’d feel good because when it came down to it, he owed his life to this man and he expected nothing in return. It’d feel good because he was so hopelessly, loyally, undyingly, idiotically, weirdly, tirelessly in love with Jack “Crazy” Cabot, and he couldn’t help it. 

He wondered. 

Then he left. 

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote a while back that I actually really liked. Just a little cute Jackward! Hope you all enjoy.


End file.
